She took your breath away the first time you saw her. Sometimes, women can look amazing, and spark your interest. But later, when you get to know them better, some aren’t so interesting any longer, unfortunately. Everything that glitters isn’t gold. She was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. But when I spent sufficient time with her I began to realize that she didn’t possess the appropriate attitude for my preference.
She was a cute, smart, sweet woman who took excellent care of herself: healthy hair and skin with great overall hygiene. She smelled of expensive floral perfume and her freshly professionally styled long, wavy hair carried the scent of a mango shampoo.
It was the summer. Her clothing was of a floral sun dress, and her legs and arms were smooth as butter from the skin cream which smelled of strawberry. All of this was a blessing to see on our first date, an experience that resembled the first time I saw her at a grocery store shopping for her family.
We became a couple. Unfortunately, after a short time, I began to notice a bit of a horrible attitude that couldn’t be extinguished. “Oh boy! What am I going to do with this one?”
Her attitude included…
If she continues to commit to an unwelcoming attitude and no compromising is exercised, on her part, it’s only right to begin to exit the relationship.
She saw things her way and wanted to control the relationship accordingly. In my opinion, her biased attitude was a reflection of her past relationship with her ex-husband. He cheated on and mistreated her. He even left her in the dark about public matters and convinced her to be a housewife; she spent limited valuable time in social settings. She didn’t want to progress into such a situation again.
She was afraid. After their separation, she began to get out of the house more. She begins to enjoy her life better; meeting new people and going to fun places. She was used to a man keeping her trapped. After her new experiences, she never wanted to go back to being held captive and mistreated again. She needs to have control to ensure she never goes back into a house under a man’s control again.
No matter how skillful, strategic, understanding, appreciative, or nicely you present your argument about compromising and seeing eye-to-eye, she doesn’t budge. She doesn’t want to get tricked or convinced into the control of a man.
Although, I never wanted to control her. I just wanted her to see my point of view and perhaps grow together based on joining ideas; she never respected my vision. She was stuck on seeing things her way and fighting to remain free.
I will always be viewed as her ex-husband. Everything I do will be compared. Even if I do things differently than what their relationship turned into toward the end, those things could resemble the beginning of her relationship with her husband when things were good. She could never get passed her past.
I could buy her anything; take her anywhere. I could commit endless affection; and respect her kids. I could be there whenever she needed me. Her mind was stuck; she was biased; she was stubborn. Although she say she didn’t, she was still in love with her ex-husband. Either that, or he programmed her to a point that she couldn’t reset herself. She was damaged. She continued to believe that I was going to trap her.
The awkward thought about her persistence is that she told me that she wanted a serious relationship. She constantly checked on me to ensure that I didn’t cheat. Asked questions about my whereabouts. Paid close attention to my movements and words. But yet, she stayed biased, and stubborn to control the relationship, ignoring and swatting my contribution of ideas, for the betterment of our relationship, like a tennis ball.
It was like she wanted me to be her dog. You know the saying, “All men are dogs”? Well, she believed that quote. However, she was wrong about me.
How long did it take for my girlfriend to change her attitude to disapproving heights?
Within the first two weeks, I noticed a stubbornness in her attitude. This was a sign that I shouldn’t have ignored. She seemed to respond to my ideas with overpowering attitudes and would shut herself off afterward. There was no way to get through to her. However, she was beautiful – her looks, her voice, her mannerisms, and her personality. I stayed, hoping things would change.
Did I do anything to provoke my girlfriend to showcase her unwelcoming attitude?
I’m no saint. And I do not claim to be. I can be quite stubborn as well. However, I am not biased and I’m not persistent in my stubbornness. I’ll listen to you and adjust my thoughts accordingly. If it makes sense, I can compromise.
I did tell her that I was not too fond of her biased attitude at times. This could’ve caused her to be more aggressive in her approach. But I’m known to apologize and become a sweetheart afterward if it’s a matter that she dislikes. Or, if I’m wrong. I will not build upon the last disagreement between us to fill my heart with anguish and anger.
Some of the things I may have done to provoke my girlfriend to have a bad attitude were mainly based on my unwillingness to constrict to her rules. I have a life of my own, and I want to live it. I have emotions and ideas of my own and I want to express them. If she cannot understand my humanity then we are not compatible.
Did my girlfriend have a good attitude at times?
My girlfriend’s good attitude was based on her ability to gain biased control over the relationship. Many may agree that women are usually in control of the relationship. But, I would rather allow the woman to have control but still be open to my ideas. I would like to have some satisfaction other than through intimacy and food. I too am going through difficulties in life, and I would like to have someone to talk to about it without hiring an expensive therapist.
Your control can be adjusted to be a bit respectful of my troubles. If you want a serious relationship, then being sympathetic to your man is significant.
I believe a man deserves to express his feelings. And if I’m angry about something and you do not want to hear it, changing the subject and moving on like I don’t exist, then when that anger builds up and I may not be there mentally because I’m a bit troubled, don’t penalize me. I’m going through a frustrating period and I need to vent. And if you’re demanding my time to nurture your needs, my time to vent to a friend or family member is limited because you demand a lot of my time, according to your controlling methods.
My nurturing her, even throughout my troubles, made her happy. As long as I was there when she called; called her a few times a day; and spent at least an hour on the phone with her at a time, she was happy. As long as I took her out a few times a week; and spent nights with her, she was happy. If I bought her things and showed continuous affection, she was happy. Sounds like a lot right?
Yes, this is what a man is supposed to do. But what if I only did everything SHE wanted to do, and never went to any places I wanted to go? Imagine never doing anything you wanted to do with your significant other. Just living to make them happy. Well, there goes that trip to the Bahamas that I dreamed about going to with the woman I love. Because she hates the Bahamas for whatever reason. I’m not going to get into that.
Yes, many men live to make their women happy. I’m not against that. But unfortunately, I have obligations outside of her: jobs, friends, family, and hobbies. These things make me who I am. If you’re taking me away from who I am then do you like me or like what I can do for you?
She looked amazing, definitely a woman I would showcase to the public with pride. However, the way that she handled the relationship was a disappointment for me. A woman must not only keep up her appearance but be compromising as well. A relationship is of multiple people, and each of you has to be satisfied for it to work successfully.
All that glitters isn’t gold. She glittered but when it came to her personality, her attitude of control was invaluable. I had concerns to address but couldn’t express them. I wanted more for us, but I couldn’t get through to her to reveal my ideas. Maybe another man would be awesome for her style of relationship.
But when it comes to a guy like me, I need to apply input. I need a bit of control so that we can both smile from genuine happiness. I’m a great guy once you get to know me. She never knew me. And I wish she would’ve taken the time. We’ll I did treat her like a queen. But that’s what I did for her.
If you want to know more about this topic, listen to The Breakup by Mr. Dickson.